Personal item on Christmas

Officially, the Celtic Church of Yahweh does not have a position on Christmas. I think this is as it should be. everyone should be left to their own conscience to decde whether o not to celebrte it. As for me (Brother Bradley) we have chosen not to celebrate it. It is a Roman Catholic holiday (not a Biblically mandated holiday). I do have many friends and family who do celebrate it and we have no conflict. We simply choose not to.
One of the things which changed our decision early on was an article I read about 10 years ago. The article was written by Tim Hegg and is called "why I don't celebrate Christmas". It's a bit of a long article, and a bit heady at times, but I thought the material was excellent.
Two years ago, I was helping with a Messianic congregation and decided to phone Tim Hegg and interview him about the article. It was written originally for his parents. He was a Christian seminary student and came into a conviction that he should no longer celebrate this activity. I asked him how it went with his parents...he said "neither of them were happy. My dad, i think, understands, but my mom has never been happy about our choice." I share that emotion. If you choose an action differet then the masses, don't expect a lot of supporters.

Here's the article:
http://www.torahresource.com/EnglishArticles/Christmas.pdf

Hope you enjoy.

Arthur's Charge to the Knights of the Round Table

A friend and dear brother sent this to me. It was the charge of King Authur to the Knights of the Round Table: Thanks kindly Brother Dave for your contribution. -Brother Bradley

God make you a good man and fail not of beauty. The Round Table was founded in patience, humility, and meekness.Thou art never to do outrageousity, nor murder, and always to flee treason, by no means to be cruel, and always to do ladies, damosels, and gentle women succour. Also, to take no battles in a wrongful quarrel for no law nor for no world's goods.

Thou shouldst be for all ladies and fight for their quarrels, and ever be courteous and never refuse mercy to him that asketh mercy, for a knight that is courteous and kind and gentle has favor in every place. Thou shouldst never hold a lady or gentle woman against her will.

Thou must keep thy word to all and not be feeble of good believeth and faith. Right must be defended against might and distress must be protected. Thou must know good from evil and the vain glory of the world, because great pride and bobauce maketh great sorrow. Should anyone require ye of any quest so that it is not to thy shame, thou shouldst fulfil the desire.

Ever it is a worshipful knights deed to help another worshipful knight when he seeth him a great danger, for ever a worshipful man should loath to see a worshipful man shamed, for it is only he that is of no worship and who faireth with cowardice that shall never show gentelness or no manner of goodness where he seeth a man in any danger, but always a good man will do another man as he would have done to himself.

It should never be said that a small brother has injured or slain another brother. Thou shouldst not fail in these things: charity, abstinence and truth. No knight shall win worship but if he be of worship himself and of good living and that loveth God and dreadeth God then else he geteth no worship here be ever so hardly.

An envious knight shall never win worship for and envious man wants to win worship he shall be dishonoured twice therefore without any, and for this cause all men of worship hate an envious man and will show him no favour.

Do not, nor slay not, anything that will in any way dishonour the fair name of Christian knighthood for only by stainless and honourable lives and not by prowess and courage shall the final goal be reached. Therefore be a good knight and so I pray to God so ye may be, and if ye be of prowess and of worthiness then ye shall be a Knight of the Table Round.

Celtic Theological Attitudes

http://www.celticchristianitytoday.org/

The following material was taken from a very dear brother who has done some great work in Celtic Christianity, Rev. Dr. George Cairns.

Celtic Theological Attitudes

Celtic Christian Theological Attitudes for Today
These attitudes are expressed as a way of initially orienting ourselves as we reconstruct Celtic Christian theology for today. This is a work in process. These attitudes are always changing and deepening as we continue this conversation together and discern how we are called to become the unique being God sees in the deepest recesses of our hearts. There are many other ways of expressing such attitudes. We start here because of our context.

God's Goodness is at the Heart of all of Creation: God made the earth and saw that it was good. As humans, made in God's image and as a part of God's creation, we also have good at the very heart of our being. We believe that creation is not a one-time event. Rather, we believe that God's creation is continuous and ongoing. We understand the radical nature of our dependence on God's continuing loving presence with us--and our interdependence with all of creation.

The Bible and God’s Creation: We understand, like the early Celtic Church, that God is not only present in the Bible, but also in all of creation. Both sources provide us with the grace- filled opportunity to move into greater intimacy with God. This understanding requires that we treat all others, both human and nonhuman, as we would have them treat us. We realize that we always stand on Holy Ground-the Holy Ground of God’s Creation-and this is good.
Shared Spiritual Disciplines: : With God’s Grace, we can become the unique and wonder-filled people God calls us to be. We realize that God is always with us, closer than our very breath always encouraging us to move into deeper and more intimate relationship. In our tradition, there are spiritual disciplines and wisdom teachings, that assist us in opening our hearts to this movement of the spirit. These disciplines, such as Scripture study, worship, prayer, and service, all have the underlying contemplative intention to open our hearts to God’s presence and movement within.
As Followers of Christ: We understand that God showed limitless love and compassion in the Christ, sharing concretely in the lives and brokenness of humankind. Jesus shows us how to minister. He is our teacher and guide who calls us to loving action throughout all aspects of our lives.
Community building: We seek authentic Holy community. As Jesus did, we seek to build community at the grassroots level. We understand that our most profound teachers often come from the poor, despised, and marginalized. We particularly welcome them as well as all others who seek to be agents of God’s loving-kindness, justice, and mercy in the world.

Photos from our Pilgrimage

Here are some photos from the pilgrimage and us in more "Squire-like" clothes. Enjoy. I will post more later.

A brief history of the post of Squire:

According to Wikipedia: “The English word squire comes from the Old French escuier (modern French écuyer), itself derived from the Late Latin scutarius ("shield bearer"), in medieval or Old English a scutifer. The Classical Latin equivalent was armiger, "arms bearer".
In days of old, a young man who aspired to be a knight would spend a term as a page where they would learn a variety of courtly functions, and then at age 14 they would become a squire. The squire would train to become a knight. They would learn the rules of fight and chivalry. As time wore on and they distinguished themselves in battles and functions, generally around the age of 21 they would be chosen to become a full knight.
The role of the “Squire” was not originally considered a title. It was a post, and a modest one at that. They could fight as needed, and would as needed. Of course, a peasant with a pitchfork could become a warrior when called upon to act. However, this role began to change. Eventually, the process of knighting was controlled only by monarchs (and as I stated before, some church bodies). This meant there was no certainty that a “Squire” would become more then a squire. This could be the end of their career path.
As time wore on, from the late 17th century until the 20th century, the local leader of a community, or the person who possessed the most land or owned the largest house was often respectfully called a “Squire”. From their social status, many of these people would already hold some local leadership, and without any fancier title, the title of Squire was chosen. Of course, if they were a Lord, or if they were actually knighted they could be known by that title, but without this, the “Squire” title was the best choice.
A secondary reason why “Squire” continued as a designation was the fact that it was costly to transition from Squire to Knight. The knight needed a significant amount of equipment, a horse, armour, weapons, etc. This was a financial burden. Now that the role of the Squire held almost as much social regard, there was little reason to put out the financial costs of a “public image promotion”.
In the Western world including the United States (where titles are generally not used), the legal profession did (and sometimes still does) still use the title Squire generally this is recognized by adding the initials Esq. at the end on one’s name. Also, among the commonwealth countries (including Canada) the banking profession would often add the title to a banker who did not possess a higher ranking among the gentry.
In case you are not familiar with the lowest rankings among the gentry, I will set them out as I understand them (remember, I was born and raised in the USA)
-Mister
-Squire
-Sir (knight)
-Lord
(peerage gentry)
-Baron *(Children of Barons are called Mister and Miss)
-Vicount
-Earl (or Count) *children of an Earl (except the firstborn are called “Honourable ____”
-Marquee
-Duke
-Monarch (King or Queen)

Just so you know, through the modern medium, you can now purchase a royal title using a credit card. If anyone is interested, I have listed the link below.
http://www.regaltitles.com/
Not my choice, but to each his own.

copy of post sent to "Loyal Order of Shilah"

Back in August 2009, I ran across this and some related web sites about becoming a knight within the Celtic Church of Yahweh. I and others submitted our names for consideration. I know I received a reply (email confirmation) , but others said they never did. I was told that some study material would come, but none has yet. My eldest son, Brother Josh age 16, was eager to get started. Finally, at the start of March, I wrot a letter to Brther Theo and Pastor Fears and told them that I have always thought they were on the right track, even if I haven't heard from them since that first e-mail. I also told them that we were going to continue as if we were authorized to train. Essentially, we would continue our study as Brothers and eventually would move on to the next stage, that of Squire.
Our role of brother has not ended, but we have added a new level of training and dedication. On May 31, my son and I will take a pilgrimage to an outdoor chapel (actually a Grotto). From our house it is just over 44kms. We will be dressed in rough robes that we sewed by hand. Armed wth only our walking sticks (we do have many wild animals in the area. We leave at 3:00am, and we think it will take about 8 1/2 hours to reach the Grotto. From there we will be joined by friends and family, and will state our intention to become Squires in pursuit of full knighthood.
Also as a note, on correspondence (e-mails, handwriting, facebook, etc.) we will add the post script "esq." to indicate to all our stage.
We also intend on issuing a press release about this so that the public is aware. You can also follow this progress on my related blog.
http://knightsofcanada.blogspot.com/
Until then...God's grace to you and yours, Brother Bradley Avi

Knight Need 2: A woman to love

This title might sound a bit funny, but I mean this in full seriousness. Among mankind there are certainly men who will never marry, some who may never have any significant interest in women, but I speak here with respect to the mass of mankind. Statistically, most men will marry. Even if they choose not to, they will find their lives enriched by significant contact with the more fare gender.
It is as God, himself said, “it is not good for man to be alone.”
The second need for a knight is a woman to love, or sometimes literature will refer to this person as the woman of his interest. Young men, think back, even before you were significantly connected to a particular woman, an adolescence, a spark began to fire in your mind. Suddenly, you looked at yourself and said. “Wow, do I really dress like this?” You decided to make efforts to put aside the image of a boy for that of a man. This new image that you took on was one shaped by a desire to attract the attention of a woman, whether a general woman, or more often a specific woman.
Left to our own devices, I fear many men would end up as the most brutal of cavemen, dressed in fur and leather, chewing the leg off of some animal cooked over a spit.
Women have a civilizing power over men. Recently, I was reading a friend’s post on Facebook and had to laugh. He was pretending he did not marry and what would have happened for him.

Marvel Comics Presents What if Scott never married Wendy....We join our Thirty-nine year old hero in his apartment...er...bedroom in his mothers house as he asks to borrow her car so he can go to the comic book store and spend some of the money he earned as assistant to the shift manager at Taco Bell............................

I doubt I would have fared better.

Back in the days of lore, when men trained to become a knight, young squires were training in a manor house where there were always many available young ladies who young men were available to interact. Young squires were encouraged to find a young lady of their attention. Please don’t misunderstand this. This was not an early marriage proposal. It was not just a way to envision a dating relationship. This person was simply an…inspiration for a young knight.
As I said before, a young knight was to be inspired by their service to their Lord (or King), but this relationship was servant to Master relationship. Although it serves much good for the character of a young knight, it is the Lady of attention which expands the other side of one’s character.
The squire (and the knight) knows that he needs to act appropriately for her benefit. He does what he does for his Lord, and for his Lady. His exploits are for the honour of his Lord and Lady. Some of these are obvious (saving the life of his King), will encourage him to keep working hard to build his body into a fine tool for service. However, this does not explain the need for a young squire to learn the rule of chivalry. The Lady of his attention is the one inspires him to become, not the greatest of savage brutes, but the greatest of noble men.
One of the web sites that I have enjoyed for this concept of Chivalry is:
http://www.chivalry.net/

You might want to check this out if you have time.

I am not sure if you have ever read the story Don Quixote, a great read if you find the time. Don Quixote is old man who’s mind is failing him and decides that he is a knight errant. To this end he finds a woman of his attention. Amazingly, she is actually only a peasant girl in his local town. At one point the admits he has only seen her once and has never spoken to her. In fact, he doesn’t even know her name he called her Dulcinea. He then proceeds to go out in the name of his Dulcinea to bring her honour. The following is his description of Dulcinea.

"… her name is Dulcinea, her country El Toboso, a village of La Mancha, her rank must be at least that of a princess, since she is my queen and lady, and her beauty superhuman, since all the impossible and fanciful attributes of beauty which the poets apply to their ladies are verified in her; for her hairs are gold, her forehead Elysian fields, her eyebrows rainbows, her eyes suns, her cheeks roses, her lips coral, her teeth pearls, her neck alabaster, her bosom marble, her hands ivory, her fairness snow, and what modesty conceals from sight such, I think and imagine, as rational reflection can only extol, not compare." [Don Quixote: Volume 1/Chapter XIII]



Her real name is Aldonza, and her opinion of Don Quixote evolves from distrust to sincere belief in Don Quixote's quest, and in the man himself. She begins as someone who has no self-worth, Aldonza, and through Quixote's belief in her, she begins to believe in herself as someone of great worth and takes on the name Dulcinea.

With these concepts, I believe a young squire who becomes a knight needs not only a king to serve, but a woman to love. Until my next post…God’s continued grace to you and yours, -Brother Bradley Avi

I guess I would be amiss not to post a small photo of my own Dulcinea, She has been my lovely wife for 18 years and my dearest friend before that. She's been camera shy most because she has just given birth to my 8th child, another boy. This photo was taken while she was pregnant, but I think she'll forgive me. I love you, Julie.

Couple general notes:

these are not vital for concept, but I thought might be worthy to note as far as what is happening in our life.

First a supply note:
Joshua and I picked up some Gambesons (coats that normally go under chain mail armour) from the link that I have listed on the right side of this blog.



These are the coats, they only coat $50 each. We didn't get them in black. I thought my son tended too often toward black and Celtic Knights of Canada should have Red and white, so ours are red with a white cross.

The sabres we also bought from there are well.



These are not what one would call a "functional sword", but a training sword (same type Olympic atheletes use).

The Celtic Church of Yahweh requires that their knights become masters of Self defense as well. I have struggled with this, but right now have ordered some instructional DVDs of Krav Maga (from e-bay), which I hope we will use to start this training. I have not settled on how one becomes a Master, but this is at least a start. Perhaps we will have to win a tournament in MMA, or perhaps we will have to be registered Black belts someplace. I don't know, but I think I have a couple of years to work on this.


Although I did not deem it necessary yet, I decided to buy some chain mail armour. I bought from e-bay. I have measured Josh and might buy some for him as well, but I thought I would buy mine first and see if this is the right decision. The cost was not terrible. $100, and make sure if you do this you measure over your gambeson for size. Also I have been told don't under estimate (or pick tight) this stuff doesn't stretch well.



I have also planned to make a shield. I have rough drawn an image for the shield.


Finally, I had planned to make a long serious time before Josh could move to the Squire stage. This seemed most consistant with the Celtic Church of Yahweh's position before the web sites crashed. Unfortunately, this meant that there were things that we really couldn't train for and were not at the right stage for us. While reading The Age of Chivalry by Bulfinch, I became convinced that I was thinking wrong. The criteria for becoming a squire was...age. A squire would be 14. It was expected that the character would come, and the squire stage would last longer, not the stage to prepare to be a squire, so in light of this we are planning our pilgrimage next week. The walk is about 44kms. It should take us over 8 hours. We are planning on starting at about 3:00am, and friends and family will meet us there around lunch time. I hope the weather holds out for us. We will wear our "rough clothing of the brother", (burlap robes) and exchange it for the gambeson.



I will hopefully get some good pictures to share. God's grace to you and yours.

Knight need 1: a King to Serve

The needs for a knight. I thought it would do well to include a bit about what a knight needs, and in fact, what every man needs to be successful. These ideas come from Robert Lewis’ excellent book (The raising of the modern day knight. I highly recommend it. A friend mistakenly asked me if I was just doing what Robert Lewis suggested, just putting it in application. It took me a while to answer correctly. My original impulse would be to say “no”. These ideas pre-dated the publishing of that book. When he published that book and there was a review of it in the Father’s day edition of Focus on the Family magazine, I was intrigued. I read the book as a new father. I can’t deny, that his material (esp. what I write today) has shaped my thinking. However, from the other material I have read from Lewis and having heard his Men’s conference lectures I would think he would say (if you could ask him) that what I am doing is very different then what he proposed. Like I said, you might want to read the book. It’s not long, and worth the read.



As one progresses from the stage of the Page, to the Squire, it is necessary to focus on the key Needs for a “knight”. The first one being: a King to serve. Whether you imagine a man wearing chain mail armour carrying a shield and wielding a sword, or whether you imagine a man in riot gear, with a bobby club and plastic shield (modern attire), you still have the physical image in your mind. The key difference for this person and a villain is: The King he/she serves.

Knights were generally put in the league with a King (or local Lord of some sort). They were the great warriors. They were better armed, and far better trained then a local peasant. Remember, in a time of crisis, like a war, anyone could take up farm equipment (an axe, a shovel, a stick) and fight the attacking hoard. It was the knights, who were built to anticipate this. They were trained for this. Hopefully their life was not full of one war after another, but in the time of trouble they were the great weapon against the evils that would come their way.

In the old stories, in times where there was no war, many of the Knights went on “quests”. These were tasks worthy of their skills. They looked for someone who needed defending; a wrong to right. They sought tasks worthy.

Yet again, when you get back to the brass tacks, you find there is very little material difference between the knight and the horrible abuser. They are both physically superior. They have some advantage (the weapons, and armour, even a horse). Or to put this another way, what is the difference between a super hero and a super villain? We come back to the King they serve. A super villain, generally serves his own interests. He is big enough, and powerful enough to do as he pleases. He takes what he wants. He harms who he wants. His urges are his master. The super hero is a servant to something greater then himself. He might have an elevated sense of justice, or believe in his country, or defend the weak. This servant role does not make him less then his counterpart. In fact, this servant role makes him “good”.

Within the Celtic Church of Yahweh, this is an important item of note. These knights do not serve a King, in the classic, political sense. They serve the great King. The Meleck Olam (King of the Universe).

If you know the Roman Catholic traditions, you might remember a Saint named Saint Christopher. He is known as the Saint of travellers. As the story goes, he was a giant who wanted to serve the greatest, most powerful King. Eventually, his is a servant of Satan, because all men feared Satan. However, Christopher found that the demons feared God, and Christopher wanted to know this God because he was obvious. He was the greatest giant, and wanted only to serve the greatest king, and eventually he does meet him (as the Christ Child), and thus you see the picture usually of Saint Christopher carrying a boy on his shoulders. He found the greatest king to serve.



God is our King (Eli-Meleck). Although he does not reign from the city of Jerusalem, yet. (Blessed be the name, May he come in our time). We still have his dedicated instruction about how one should live. We have examples in Scripture of Mighty men who were among the most significant men of God. Moses, Joshua, David were all warriors, and spiritual giants. Of course, there were great men of God who were not warriors (praised be his name), but we are focussing on these warrior servants of the king. They all were at their best as they served their king. They all had moments when they chose wrong, or lost sight of who they served, but at their best, they knew who they served, and were not distracted by their own interests.

A knight, serving his king, knows what his king desires. He knows what would please his King. He knows the goals. Is now the time to defend? Or it is the time to seek a “task worthy“? In every event that comes, the knight has the chance to balance his decisions and actions and says “yes, or no” based on who he serves.

For the modern man, there are many demands. There are often needs for family, prestige, career, social needs, interests, even worthy causes. All of these make demands on our time. Any one of these could easily become the “king” in which we serve, and in fact, there are many times when they must demand our full attention. The loom large in our vision. But, if one can remember, who we serve, I think a great many of these decisions will fall into proper perspective.

It is for that reason, a king must know the king in which he serves.

Dia annseo isteach! -God to all here

While doing some looking around for more material about Celtic Christianity, I found the administrator of the Celtic Church of Yahweh was in a discussion board about the attempts of this monastic movement. Many pieces are worth discussion, but I thought I would tackle one at a time. She calls herself Pastor Lisa on this site and she says she is from St Louis. The one answering her discussion uses the login code mfjfarrell

The whole feed can be read on http://community.beliefnet.com/go/thread/view/44061/14680706/A_New_Celtic_Christian_Monasticism

“(Celtic Christians) see all of Creation, mankind and nature, as resonating the presence of God.
In your statement of faith you began with the Scriptures as the one and only source of your understanding. Celts have always been the 'people of two books' - Scriptures and Creation. Christ is revealed to us in both places!”

I think this concept is central to understanding from a more Celtic Christian perspective. Much of our evangelical/fundamentalist traditions have been tied to book study. This has been important, and I would not want to say there is no value here, but we must recognise that the truest Christian expression is a lot more then study hidden away in some ivory tower somewhere.

If we sincerely believe in a God who created our world, then we need to seek out that experience. Go outside, walk in the fields and or meadows. Breathe the air God created and thank him for his Grace to us. This is as much a part of our Christian experience as would be an exhaustive exegetical study.

Think of the life of Jesus (Yeshua), who would use the events of nature and of the outside world to tell important lessons to his followers about the Kingdom of God. His metaphors were about things like planting and harvest, about a shepherd and a lost sheep. He spoke on the hillsides and fed thousands. There were times when he went into the cities to teach, but you can see and even feel that when he needed time to be away, he would literally wander out from the crowds. That was his greatest sanctuary.

The apostle Paul also said as much when he spoke:

Rom 1:20 For the invisible things of him since the creation of the world are clearly seen, being perceived through the things that are made, even his everlasting power and divinity; that they may be without excuse:

This divine witness was enough to convict mankind for not believing in the Creator. How little time has been spent appreciating this divine witness. Just sharing some thoughts and a challenge to seek God where he may be found.

Dia annseo isteach!
God to all here!

A article about Salvation

The most central doctrine to the Christian faith is that of Salvation. A friend shared this article with me, and I think it probably is the best article I have read in a while to challenge our weak image of "Salvation". Please, read and enjoy. -Brother Bradley Avi

http://www.restorationministries.org/HtmlFiles/HebraicArticles/GospOfCov.htm

US teen health a national security risk

I heard this on the radio the other day and felt it would be a good article to share. The source is UPI news service. It's worht a read:


27 percent too fat for military


WASHINGTON, April 20 (UPI) -- A group of more than 130 retired U.S. military leaders said the escalating rates of child and teen obesity endangers national security.

The U.S. non-profit group, Mission: Readiness, of retired admirals, generals and other senior military leaders, said 9 million young adults are too overweight to join the military.

The report, "Too Fat to Fight," said more than 9 million young adults, or 27 percent of all teens and young adults age 17-24, are too overweight to join the military.

The Centers for Disease Control
and Prevention in Atlanta has reported that since 2000, the number of states with 40 percent or more of young adults overweight increased from one state to 39 states.

"We believe that the child obesity issue is so serious it has become a threat to our national security," retired U.S. Air Force Lt. Gen. Norman Seip of Mission: Readiness said in a statement.

The group has joined with Sen. Richard Lugar, R-Ind., and U.S. Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack in supporting child nutrition legislation to ban junk food from schools, support the White House proposal to increase $1 billion per year for 10 years for child nutrition programs and develop school-based strategies to help parents and children adopt healthier eating and exercise habits.

For the original article see:

The great substitution

Years ago in a psychology class we spoke about how essentially a new life is born with very limited experience of it's own character. Is he smart, or dull? Is he a great athelete, or a bit of a klutz? It is society and one's experience within that society that makes one feel they are who they are. In fact, the society tends to shape a character, or perhaps even an image. This obviuosly sounds like Cooley's "Looking Glass Self" model where we need others to see who we really are. The context provides the understanding.
However, most of us allow these characteristics to be formed with limited effort. We tend to follow the wind and become something whether we had any idea what we were becoming or not. There is limited conscious effort in this process.
This however, was exactly what I have tried not to allow to happen with my own son. My eldest was homeschooled until a few months ago, when we decided to let him attend the local school for a class and then eventualy a few classes. He used to the experience to shape himself into "his peers", or something that he could comfortably become. However, this new character (among many he had "tried on") over the last couple years was not part of my aspirations for him. He took on every bad habit, every attitude; the poorest of character. His ambition fell to almost zero, and he started to "settle into" his new life and lifestyle. Sincerely, we (my wife and I) were worried. We did not know exactly what to do. We could pull him out (and in fact, we did), but by going back to homeschooling, he'd lack that social context. We felt he would stay the same character now simply in a new environment. This was particularly concerning since we did not wish him to create significant problems for the other 7 children. We could leave him and hope that he weathered the storm. Both my wife and I went through a secular high school and were no worse for wear. That was a risk that we were not sure we were willing to take.

Finally, we came back to this "looking glass self" concept. My son needed to have a different place to exist and a different "looking glass". He needed a challenge. His present (in school) lacked any challange to motivate him. He needed something that he could shoot for an be inspired by. But what?
I kinda felt that "being a man", was what he wanted. All boys desire this, but I had to be careful, the image of man was not always a clear cut image. I didn't want him to aspire to a beer guzzling Homer Simpson. I needed an idealized man. Who?


I went back to my image of the classic Knight. He was a manly man, if ever there was one. He was strong and healthy (my son was becoming a sloth). The idealized knight was a nobel man who served God and King. (not the evil black knights, but the traditional Sir Galahad type knight). These knights were smart. They were focused. They were spiritual. They were people of vision and of honour. Perhaps there were never any of these real knights that ever existed, but the image had survived centuries with less tainting then almost every other image of manliness I could consider. This was my choice for a substitute character.
For my son, when he was gone one weekend I redid his room with images of knights and Celtic symbols, eagles and wolves (other manly images that I knew he liked). It went better then I expected. He loved it.
So, like I said, I drew out this image and decided to revive this Celtic Church of Yahweh regardless whether the initial founders accepted this or not. This was never about me. It was always about what it would take to inspire my son (and my future sons I have 5 others) toward a better path in life. Left to our own devices we tend to fall far short of the mark.
I suspect this will take longer then initially planned, but this is about long term character. It is necessary for him, but also for our society. If you have a son that you worry about, I think you will understand. If you don't then perhaps no level of explanation will make sense.

Stage 2: the squire

Within the Celtic Church of Yahweh, the plan has been that if one wished to progress past the Monastic order (brothers and sisters) then the next stage would be known as the squire stage. Simply put, a squire was a knight in training.
The monk stage was designed for spiritual growth, and was necessary to be completed by any who wished this path, the Squire stage is different. The squire was different. In ages gone by, the squire would be assigned to a knight. His primary duty would be helping a knight into and out of his armour. He would be the practice dummy for swordplay. He would care for the horse. He would be an apprentice under the knight, and when he had learned what was needed he would then have the opportunity to become a true fully knight himself and would likely have a squire work under him as well.
So, within this present expression of knighthood, it is expected that squires train in sword play. This may seem outdated, but the Celtic Church did not want any knights who were unable to handle the weapon that has often become their symbol. A squire must become a master (expert) in hand to hand combat. He/She should also become an expert in other weaponry (at least one other weapon as chosen by the squire.
It would be expected that a squire acquire the clothing and tools which would be associated with a knight. This would include some level of protective clothing. He/she must also be familiar with the full code of chivalry. He must know how to act like a knight, how to honour other knights, and those in need.
It is during this stage that the squire looks toward a task worthy of their skills. Put simply, this training is personally helpful as far as physical body building, health and endurance, but was never intended to be just “body building” and karate. It was designed that a squire would someday become a knight, and would find an outlet, a quest, a task worthy of their skill set. This task would be as individual as the one training.

As the case with Brother, as one transitions to becoming a knight, it is expected that there would be a ritual (or ceremony) some way to mark this transition. This should be serious, but also be a signal of a break from the old (training) to the new (fulfilling). Although this ceremony is still far on the horizon for Josh and I, I suspect it will take place at Mount Carmel (near Humboldt Saskatchewan). There is another shrine there, popular pilgrim place, a wandering way of the cross, and some beautiful prayer cells, and an outdoor chaple made from field stones. It looks like a perfect place for this transition.

Also, explaining a bit historically about the squire, many people in ages gone by became squires and went no further. They spent their life at this stage. If you remember the story Treasure Island you will remember an important character named Squire Treelawny. Squire eventually became a surname. The reason many people at first went no further then a squire was in part because of the costs. It was expected that a knight would afford the armour, weapons and horse, which was not an inexpensive item to cover. As a squire it afforded many men a similar status, without the extra financial burden.
Also of note is squire (or esquire), was used in the British commonwealth as a term attached to professionals employees. Lawyers and bankers especially would be called Squire (Esquire) into the 20th century, in fact, some have suggested that within the legal profession it would still be appropriate.
I guess it would be worthy to note that at the squire stage, I would still be Brother Brad, but I would also change my formal title to Bradley Lang Esq.

The stage of being a Companion of Christ

Embracing being a brother:
As I mentioned when I started, this program was not originally designed by me. I found out about it through a group, but it appears as if they have abandoned it presently. This program was designed to have 3 stages. The first starts with a choice. This stage is a “Brother/Sister stage”. It is choosing to be a part of a monastic order within the Celtic Church of Yahweh. This is the stage I am at presently. Later there is a squire stage, and finally a knight stage, if one chooses… but for now, we are in that Brother stage.
I realized that I have not really written much about what happens in this stage. In fact, for many people this may be as far as they wish to go. There may be physical or other reasons why they do not wish to continue along the program, and that is totally acceptable.
When in the “Brother Stage”, it is expected that a Brother (I am using brother instead of Brother and Sister, for simplicity, but I do mean both) commit himself to God. This sounds simple enough, but will have profound consequences. This order does not require a vow of poverty, but it does require an intent to grow in sanctification. It is intended for spiritual growth. It is expected that a Brother study the ancient orthodox teachings, beginning with the Apostle’s creed. It is expected that a Brother should show characteristics of significant spiritual discipline. He should be a man of prayer, of praise, who has a knowledge of Scripture. He should also be humble, and embrace a “simple life” (with some flexibility in the outworking of this.
For my son and I, we have chosen to purchase a simple medallion, with the symbol of the ancient Celtic church. It was not expensive, and then we bought a piece of leather to string it about our necks. I am rarely without it. I have also hand-stitched some rough simple robes (as seen in my profile picture). My only “weapon” in a physical sense at this stage is my walking stick. Again, simple, humble, are the patterns for Josh and I.
Some friends have started to address me as Brother Brad, and in writing I will sometimes sign my name as Brother Brad. At first this sounded funny, almost like an act… but as time goes on, the name seems more and more appropriate. It is a simple…humble title.
This stage can last one’s entire life. If ever, by the grace of God, there are many more who call themselves part of the Celtic church, it would be my home and prayer for someone to choose to stay a “Brother”, and perhaps give spiritual guidance to all up coming brothers and sisters. That is necessary. My home would not be that everyone just see this stage as a passing point, but that someone would embrace this stage as a calling, a chance to influence the world in a very important role.
Of course, for many, this will be only a stage on the path. For these people, they must be ready for that coming stage. The role of the Squire. If someone wishes to move from this stage they must accomplish what is set out here. On top of what I mentioned here, they need to acquire a sword, which will be given to them a the ceremony as they transition to the next stage. They must become physically capable to handle the Squire stage. I don’t think anyone should try to become a squire without the physical stamina to run 10 miles. A Squire can not be overweight (as so many of us have become comfortable). To become a squire one must take the effort to become an excellent specimen of their gender. This requires serious intense physical training.
When one is finally at the transition point, a ceremony is planned. Again, there is simplicity, but significance here. For Josh and I, we intended on have a night of prayer and fasting, and then we will (dressed in our simple rough clothes) and armed with our walking sticks will take the long walk (42.7kms) to the a nearby outdoor Grotto. Google maps says it will take 8 hours and 33 minutes. Time is unimportant. It gives us time of solitude and time to talk about this transition. The place is a shrine, in a tiny town of Rama, Saskatchewan.


Here is a photo of the grotto so you can imagine it

It is a popular place for pilgrims to take an annual journey in August, but we will go there (hopefully sooner), we leave for Idaho in July. As we approach the village, we will contact my wife and she will come down, with the children and whatever few friends we invite. I will try to get some pictures. It is there that we will exchange our simple burlap robes for our Squire gambeson and receive our blades. There are still details to work out, but this is how I envision this, and although everyone who transitions from Brother and sister to squire, would not have to come to the same place, it is hoped that locally, they could find a challenge and a ceremony which would allow them to feel deeply that something very different in happening.
We look forward to that day. Yet, we do not wish to throw away the opportunity to embrace being a brother. It is the time God has given us, and we don’t wish it gone too early. Next time, by the grace of God, I will tell you about what happens in the Squire stage, and the transition to a knight. The Grace of God be with you. -Brother Brad

Perseverance

Perseverance:



It is one of those words which means a lot, but not necessarily evokes a lot of fun imagery. It is the image of a long distance runner. Just for the record, I always hated running in school. I liked short running (50 yard dash stuff), but in Junior high our PE class started us running the mile run or the 12 minute run. Those were awful. We would head out there with our class and I would start at my pace for a sprint and then I would get about 200 yards and be fully winded. I would be in front, but that was of limited benefit since I would then have to stop. I would walk, and then maybe jog. I might find someone to walk with for a while, and then finally in the last 50 yards I would run like I was “going for gold”, and when the dust settled. I would have ran a 12 minute mile. Yuck!
I just never got very good at being a distance runner. Often times, if I did run for distance it was because I had a lot of thinking and then I would go for a run, and find myself a mile or two away from home and then I would have to walk back. Goofy, and not a great image.
This, however, has been the correct image for the physical fitness program I have incorporated into the knighthood program I am working on with Josh and I. It is not a sprint. It is more of a marathon, although in my case it is more of a half marathon. We have been working physically on this for a month. I have lost 5.6lbs with another 8.6 left to go. It is not a fast track. It can’t be done overnight, but it can be done. My eldest son is still asleep so I don’t know where he is weighing in this morning. His inspiration level is significantly lower then mine. He likes the benefit of being healthy, but not the effort it takes to get there. This summer was different. He was motivated to succeed, but it is tougher presently. Yet, he has not given up. He continues to strive, sometimes in spite of himself. If he continues, and adopts some good lifestyle choices he will have himself in a good situation for the rest of his life. If he doesn’t, my genetics does not lend itself to naturally being slim and trim. He’s likely to go that way.
As I have mentioned before, the physical aspect of this is only one piece, but it is one that is easier to monitor then some of the others. We are working on building his spiritual growth and his character, both of which need some help. I think success is possible, but it won’t be without effort…and perseverance.

More thoughts on Becoming a Knight

Knights:
O.K. so let’s pretend you wanted to become a knight. Where would you go? What would you do? The reality is actually pretty tough. I just checked the Newswire for news about people knighted by the queen of England. What I found was a couple of “fallen” (polite word for dead) soldiers, are to be knighted in a couple weeks. There was an article about a scientist who recently died who was knighted by the queen 1981, an article about singer Tom Jones (Sir Tom), and a player and coach of “rugby?” who was knighted. So, where do I take that? I have no idea.
These are knights in the ancient sense. They are not warriors and protectors of the kingdom (except the fallen soldiers). Most of the knighting we hear about today are conferred upon people for showing excellence in some area. Often times this is arts (Sir Elton John ) or science (Sir Joseph Flavelle). The sports reward was new to me, but I am not a fan of most British sports. Also, knighting in this case comes from a government. Particularly a government with a monarchy. That makes England the obvious choice for the media (also not bad for Canadians who still live under the rule of the queen).
However, that pretty much rules out any government which lack a monarch…like the US. Also, you see the knighthood is more of a reward for doing something else. It is not knighthood in the traditional visual image that we all can see. Nobody (hopefully) imagines Elton John as the defender of the nation. He’d look cute with all the feathers, over a suit of armour.

So, where else can one be knighted? Well, an internet search will reveal a variety of “false countries and false claims” on real or imaginary property which will allow people to become knights of that area. This is usually designed with a significant cost. But, I could become a knight of Pomerania and Livonia (called a micro nation, or a nation in exile- meaning it doesn’t exist). There are companies which will sell you the legal title “sir”, since there is limited means to keep anyone from being called whatever they want. Remember the musician “formerly known as Prince”?
You could join a society for creative anachronism (SCA) those are places where you go an play ancient knights, lords and ladies. That might be kinda fun, but again, we are looking for real, not for playing.
You find out pretty quick this task is not easy.
There was one other group which had knights as well. That group was the church. People might remember the knights Templar or the Knights of hospitality. Although today both of these orders have been absorbed by the secretive society (The Masons), there is still a sense that the church did (and to some extent still does) have the right to appoint knights. However which church would?

I was a member of the Mennonite Brethren denomination. Not your classic knight warrior group (historic pacifists). I have been a member of other churches that have folded, and I was raised in a non-denominational church, so none of these are helping much. I believe as most people do, an orthodox view of Christianity, but that leaves a lot of room. Also, don’t know of any churches which appoint “knights” in that ancient traditional sense…or at least until last year.
The Celtic church (claiming to hold to the ancient orthodox teachings), the church history would be pre-Roman Catholic (although the Roman Catholic church does not affirm this). It can certainly be said that this church would exist prior to the Roman Catholic domination of the western world found in the Middle ages. So, based on these items I asked to join and was accepted. As I said in earlier posts, there has been almost no response from the Celtic Church. I think the two leaders who contacted me have moved onto something else. I do hope and anticipate that I will officially be chosen as their representative for Canada, but if I never do hear from them I will have to simple start this order independent of their initial work.
The role of the knight is noble. It is filled with hopes an aspirations. It is not an image which one should allow to die out. It embodies a challenge. It is a high goal in a world which endorses the least common denominator. It is a Godly pursuit. It is a physical pursuit. It is like the American slogan for the army “Be all that you can be”. By the grace of God, we will strive for that. Just wanted to share a few ideas there. God’s grace to you and yours, -Brother Bradley Avi

The Confessions of St Patrick

Back in the day when The Roman church ruled the world, they decided to call to task an evangelist who was outside their order to see if he was a "true servant". This was the day when any deemed heretic were killed and little chance to a re-trial. Patrick was not likely sent by the Roman Catholic church. He was an outsider, a Celtic brother who if he did not answer well, would never be heard from again. Although we have little left from the writings of this old saint, we do have a Latin copy, dated from around 450AD, of this document. Thought I would share this on St Patrick's day. God's grace to you and yours, -Brother Brad


The confession of St Patrick:

I, Patrick, a sinner, a most simple countryman, the least of all the faithful and most contemptible to many, had for father the deacon Calpurnius, son of the late Potitus, a priest, of the settlement [vicus] of Bannavem Taburniae; he had a small villa nearby where I was taken captive. I was at that time about sixteen years of age. I did not, indeed, know the true God; and I was taken into captivity in Ireland with many thousands of people, according to our desserts, for quite drawn away from God, we did not keep his precepts, nor were we obedient to our priests who used to remind us of our salvation. And the Lord brought down on us the fury of his being and scattered us among many nations, even to the ends of the earth, where I, in my smallness, am now to be found among foreigners.
And there the Lord opened my mind to an awareness of my unbelief, in order that, even so late, I might remember my transgressions and turn with all my heart to the Lord my God, who had regard for my insignificance and pitied my youth and ignorance. And he watched over me before I knew him, and before I learned sense or even distinguished between good and evil, and he protected me, and consoled me as a father would his son.
Therefore, indeed, I cannot keep silent, nor would it be proper, so many favours and graces has the Lord deigned to bestow on me in the land of my captivity. For after chastisement from God, and recognizing him, our way to repay him is to exalt him and confess his wonders before every nation under heaven.
For there is no other God, nor ever was before, nor shall be hereafter, but God the Father, unbegotten and without beginning, in whom all things began, whose are all things, as we have been taught; and his son Jesus Christ, who manifestly always existed with the Father, before the beginning of time in the spirit with the Father, indescribably begotten before all things, and all things visible and invisible were made by him. He was made man, conquered death and was received into Heaven, to the Father who gave him all power over every name in Heaven and on Earth and in Hell, so that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and God, in whom we believe. And we look to his imminent coming again, the judge of the living and the dead, who will render to each according to his deeds. And he poured out his Holy Spirit on us in abundance, the gift and pledge of immortality, which makes the believers and the obedient into sons of God and co-heirs of Christ who is revealed, and we worship one God in the Trinity of holy name.
He himself said through the prophet: 'Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.' And again: 'It is right to reveal and publish abroad the works of God.'
I am imperfect in many things, nevertheless I want my brethren and kinsfolk to know my nature so that they may be able to perceive my soul's desire.
I am not ignorant of what is said of my Lord in the Psalm: 'You destroy those who speak a lie.' And again: 'A lying mouth deals death to the soul.' And likewise the Lord says in the Gospel: 'On the day of judgment men shall render account for every idle word they utter.'
So it is that I should mightily fear, with terror and trembling,this judgment on the day when no one shall be able to steal away or hide, but each and all shall render account for even our smallest sins before the judgment seat of Christ the Lord.
And therefore for some time I have thought of writing, but I have hesitated until now, for truly, I feared to expose myself to the criticism of men, because I have not studied like others, who have assimilated both Law and the Holy Scriptures equally and have never changed their idiom since their infancy, but instead were always learning it increasingly, to perfection, while my idiom and language have been translated into a foreign tongue. So it is easy to prove from a sample of my writing, my ability in rhetoric and the extent of my preparation and knowledge, for as it is said, 'wisdom shall be recognized in speech, and in understanding, and in knowledge and in the learning of truth.'
But why make excuses close to the truth, especially when now I am presuming to try to grasp in my old age what I did not gain in my youth because my sins prevented me from making what I had read my own? But who will believe me, even though I should say it again? A young man, almost a beardless boy, I was taken captive before I knew what I should desire and what I should shun. So, consequently, today I feel ashamed and I am mightily afraid to expose my ignorance, because, [not] eloquent, with a small vocabulary, I am unable to explain as the spirit is eager to do and as the soul and the mind indicate.
But had it been given to me as to others, in gratitude I should not have kept silent, and if it should appear that I put myself before others, with my ignorance and my slower speech, in truth, it is written: 'The tongue of the stammerers shall speak rapidly and distinctly.' How much harder must we try to attain it, we of whom it is said: 'You are an epistle of Christ in greeting to the ends of the earth ... written on your hearts, not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God.' And again, the Spirit witnessed that the rustic life was created by the Most High.
I am, then, first of all, countryfied, an exile, evidently unlearned, one who is not able to see into the future, but I know for certain, that before I was humbled I was like a stone lying in deep mire, and he that is mighty came and in his mercy raised me up and, indeed, lifted me high up and placed me on top of the wall. And from there I ought to shout out in gratitude to the Lord for his great favours in this world and for ever, that the mind of man cannot measure.
Therefore be amazed, you great and small who fear God, and you men of God, eloquent speakers, listen and contemplate. Who was it summoned me, a fool, from the midst of those who appear wise and learned in the law and powerful in rhetoric and in all things? Me,truly wretched in this world, he inspired before others that I could be-- if I would-- such a one who, with fear and reverence, and faithfully, without complaint, would come to the people to whom the love of Christ brought me and gave me in my lifetime, if I should be worthy, to serve them truly and with humility.
According, therefore, to the measure of one's faith in the Trinity, one should proceed without holding back from danger to make known the gift of God and everlasting consolation, to spread God's name everywhere with confidence and without fear, in order to leave behind, after my death, foundations for my brethren and sons whom I baptized in the Lord in so many thousands.
And I was not worthy, nor was I such that the Lord should grant his humble servant this, that after hardships and such great trials, after captivity, after many years, he should give me so much favour in these people, a thing which in the time of my youth I neither hoped for nor imagined.
But after I reached Ireland I used to pasture the flock each day and I used to pray many times a day. More and more did the love of God, and my fear of him and faith increase, and my spirit was moved so that in a day [I said] from one up to a hundred prayers, and in the night a like number; besides I used to stay out in the forests and on the mountain and I would wake up before daylight to pray in the snow, in icy coldness, in rain, and I used to feel neither ill nor any slothfulness, because, as I now see, the Spirit was burning in me at that time.
And it was there of course that one night in my sleep I heard a voice saying to me: 'You do well to fast: soon you will depart for your home country.' And again, a very short time later, there was a voice prophesying: 'Behold, your ship is ready.' And it was not close by, but, as it happened, two hundred miles away, where I had never been nor knew any person. And shortly thereafter I turned about and fled from the man with whom I had been for six years, and I came, by the power of God who directed my route to advantage (and I was afraid of nothing), until I reached that ship.
And on the same day that I arrived, the ship was setting out from the place, and I said that I had the wherewithal to sail with them; and the steersman was displeased and replied in anger, sharply: 'By no means attempt to go with us.' Hearing this I left them to go to the hut where I was staying, and on the way I began to pray, and before the prayer was finished I heard one of them shouting loudly after me: 'Come quickly because the men are calling you.' And immediately I went back to them and they started to say to me: 'Come,because we are admitting you out of good faith; make friendship with us in any way you wish.' (And so, on that day, I refused to suck the breasts of these men from fear of God, but nevertheless I had hopes that they would come to faith in Jesus Christ, because they were barbarians.) And for this I continued with them, and forthwith we put to sea.
And after three days we reached land, and for twenty-eight days journeyed through uninhabited country, and the food ran out and hunger overtook them; and one day the steersman began saying: 'Why is it, Christian? You say your God is great and all-powerful; then why can you not pray for us? For we may perish of hunger; it is unlikely indeed that we shall ever see another human being.' In fact, I said to them, confidently: 'Be converted by faith with all your heart to my Lord God, because nothing is impossible for him, so that today he will send food for you on your road, until you be sated, because everywhere he abounds.' And with God's help this came to pass; and behold, a herd of swine appeared on the road before our eyes, and they slew many of them, and remained there for two nights, and the were full of their meat and well restored, for many of them had fainted and would otherwise have been left half-dead by the wayside. And after this they gave the utmost thanks to God, and I was esteemed in their eyes, and from that day they had food abundantly. They discovered wild honey,besides, and they offered a share to me, and one of them said: 'It is a sacrifice.' Thanks be to God, I tasted none of it.
The very same night while I was sleeping Satan attacked me violently, as I will remember as long as I shall be in this body; and there fell on top of me as it were, a huge rock, and not one of my members had any force. But from whence did it come to me, ignorant in the spirit, to call upon 'Helias'? And meanwhile I saw the sun rising in the sky, and while I was crying out 'Helias, Helias' with all my might, lo, the brilliance of that sun fell upon me and immediately shook me free of all the weight; and I believe that I was aided by Christ my Lord, and that his Spirit then was crying out for me, and I hope that it will be so in the day of my affliction, just as it says in the Gospel: 'In that hour', the Lord declares, 'it is not you who speaks but the Spirit of your Father speaking in you.'
And a second time, after many years, I was taken captive. On the first night I accordingly remained with my captors, but I heard a divine prophecy, saying to me: 'You shall be with them for two months. So it happened. On the sixtieth night the Lord delivered me from their hands.
On the journey he provided us with food and fire and dry weather every day, until on the tenth day we came upon people. As I mentioned above, we had journeyed through an unpopulated country for twenty-eight days, and in fact the night that we came upon people we had no food.
And after a few years I was again in Britain with my parents [kinsfolk], and they welcomed me as a son, and asked me, in faith, that after the great tribulations I had endured I should not go an where else away from them. And, of course, there, in a vision of the night, I saw a man whose name was Victoricus coming as it from Ireland with innumerable letters, and he gave me one of them, and I read the beginning of the letter: 'The Voice of the Irish', and as I was reading the beginning of the letter I seemed at that moment to hear the voice of those who were beside the forest of Foclut which is near the western sea, and they were crying as if with one voice: 'We beg you, holy youth, that you shall come and shall walk again among us.' And I was stung intensely in my heart so that I could read no more, and thus I awoke. Thanks be to God, because after so many ears the Lord bestowed on them according to their cry.
And another night-- God knows, I do not, whether within me or beside me-- ... most words + ... + which I heard and could not understand, except at the end of the speech it was represented thus: 'He who gave his life for you, he it is who speaks within you.' And thus I awoke, joyful.
And on a second occasion I saw Him praying within me, and I was as it were, inside my own body , and I heard Him above me-- that is,above my inner self. He was praying powerfully with sighs. And in the course of this I was astonished and wondering, and I pondered who it could be who was praying within me. But at the end of the prayer it was revealed to me that it was the Spirit. And so I awoke and remembered the Apostle's words: 'Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we know not how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for utterance.' And again: 'The Lord our advocate intercedes for us.'
And then I was attacked by a goodly number of my elders, who [brought up] my sins against my arduous episcopate. That day in particular I was mightily upset, and might have fallen here and for ever; but the Lord generously spared me, a convert, and an alien, for his name's sake, and he came powerfully to my assistance in that state of being trampled down. I pray God that it shall not be held against them as a sin that I fell truly into disgrace and scandal.
They brought up against me after thirty years an occurrence I had confessed before becoming a deacon. On account of the anxiety in my sorrowful mind, I laid before my close friend what I had perpetrated on a day-- nay, rather in one hour-- in my boyhood because I was not yet proof against sin. God knows-- I do not-- whether I was fifteen years old at the time, and I did not then believe in the living God, nor had I believed, since my infancy; but I remained in death and unbelief until I was severely rebuked, and in truth I was humbled every day by hunger and nakedness.
On the other hand, I did not proceed to Ireland of my own accord until I was almost giving up, but through this I was corrected by the Lord, and he prepared me so that today I should be what was once far from me, in order that I should have the care of-- or rather, I should be concerned for-- the salvation of others, when at that time, still, I was only concerned for myself.
Therefore, on that day when I was rebuked, as I have just mentioned, I saw in a vision of the night a document before my face,without honour, and meanwhile I heard a divine prophecy, saying to me: 'We have seen with displeasure the face of the chosen one divested of [his good] name.' And he did not say 'You have seen with displeasure', but 'We have seen with displeasure' (as if He included Himself) . He said then: 'He who touches you, touches the apple of my eye.'
For that reason, I give thanks to him who strengthened me in all things, so that I should not be hindered in my setting out and also in my work which I was taught by Christ my Lord; but more, from that state of affairs I felt, within me, no little courage, and vindicated my faith before God and man.
Hence, therefore, I say boldly that my conscience is clear now and hereafter. God is my witness that I have not lied in these words to you.
But rather, I am grieved for my very close friend, that because of him we deserved to hear such a prophecy. The one to whom I entrusted my soul! And I found out from a goodly number of brethren, before the case was made in my defence (in which I did not take part, nor was I in Britain, nor was it pleaded by me), that in my absence he would fight in my behalf. Besides, he told me himself: 'See, the rank of bishop goes to you'-- of which I was not worthy. But how did it come to him, shortly afterwards, to disgrace me publicly, in the presence of all, good and bad, because previously, gladly and of his own free will, he pardoned me, as did the Lord, who is greater than all?
I have said enough. But all the same, I ought not to conceal God's gift which he lavished on us in the land of my captivity, for then I sought him resolutely, and I found him there, and he preserved me from all evils (as I believe) through the in-dwelling of his Spirit, which works in me to this day. Again, boldly, but God knows, if this had been made known to me by man, I might, perhaps, have kept silent for the love of Christ.
Thus I give untiring thanks to God who kept me faithful in the day of my temptation, so that today I may confidently over my soul as a living sacrifice for Christ my Lord; who am I, Lord? or, rather, what is my calling? that you appeared to me in so great a divine quality,so that today among the barbarians I might constantly exalt and magnify your name in whatever place I should be, and not only in good fortune, but even in affliction? So that whatever befalls me, be it good or bad, I should accept it equally, and give thanks always to God who revealed to me that I might trust in him, implicitly and forever,and who will encourage me so that, ignorant, and in the last days, I may dare to undertake so devout and so wonderful a work; so that I might imitate one of those whom, once, long ago, the Lord already pre-ordained to be heralds of his Gospel to witness to all peoples to the ends of the earth. So are we seeing, and so it is fulfilled;behold, we are witnesses because the Gospel has been preached as far as the places beyond which no man lives.
But it is tedious to describe in detail all my labours one by one. I will tell briefly how most holy God frequently delivered me, from slavery, and from the twelve trials with which my soul was threatened,from man traps as well, and from things I am not able to put into words. I would not cause offence to readers, but I have God as witness who knew all things even before they happened, that, though I was a poor ignorant waif, still he gave me abundant warnings through divine prophecy.
Whence came to me this wisdom which was not my own, I who neither knew the number of days nor had knowledge of God? Whence came the so great and so healthful gift of knowing or rather loving God, though I should lose homeland and family.
And many gifts were offered to me with weeping and tears, and I offended them [the donors], and also went against the wishes of a good number of my elders; but guided by God, I neither agreed with them nor deferred to them, not by my own grace but by God who is victorious in me and withstands them all, so that I might come to the Irish people to preach the Gospel and endure insults from unbelievers; that I might hear scandal of my travels, and endure many persecutions to the extent of prison; and so that I might give up my free birthright for the advantage of others, and if I should be worthy, I am ready [to give] even my life without hesitation; and most willingly for His name. And I choose to devote it to him even unto death, if God grant it to me.
I am greatly God's debtor, because he granted me so much grace,that through me many people would be reborn in God, and soon a after confirmed, and that clergy would be ordained everywhere for them, the masses lately come to belief, whom the Lord drew from the ends of the earth, just as he once promised through his prophets: 'To you shall the nations come from the ends of the earth, and shall say, Our fathers have inherited naught but lies, worthless things in which there is no profit.' And again: 'I have set you to be a light for the Gentiles that you may bring salvation to the uttermost ends of the earth.'
And I wish to wait then for his promise which is never unfulfilled, just as it is promised in the Gospel: 'Many shall come from east and west and shall sit at table with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob.' Just as we believe that believers will come from all the world.
So for that reason one should, in fact, fish well and diligently, just as the Lord foretells and teaches, saying, 'Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men,' and again through the prophets: 'Behold, I am sending forth many fishers and hunters, says the Lord,' et cetera. So it behoves us to spread our nets, that a vast multitude and throng might be caught for God, and so there might be clergy everywhere who baptized and exhorted a needy and desirous people. Just as the Lord says in the Gospel, admonishing and instructing: 'Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always to the end of time.' And again he says: 'Go forth into the world and preach the Gospel to all creation. He who believes and is baptized shall be saved; but he who does not believe shall be condemned.' And again: 'This Gospel of the Kingdom shall be preached throughout the whole world as a witness to all nations; and then the end of the world shall come.' And likewise the Lord foretells through the prophet: 'And it shall come to pass in the last days (sayeth the Lord) that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh, and your sons and daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions and your old men shall dream dreams; yea, and on my menservants and my maidservants in those days I will pour out my Spirit and they shall prophesy.' And in Hosea he says: 'Those who are not my people I will call my people, and those not beloved I will call my beloved, and in the very place where it was said to them, You are not my people, they will be called 'Sons of the living God'.
So, how is it that in Ireland, where they never had any knowledge of God but, always, until now, cherished idols and unclean things,they are lately become a people of the Lord, and are called children of God; the sons of the Irish [Scotti] and the daughters of the chieftains are to be seen as monks and virgins of Christ.
And there was, besides, a most beautiful, blessed, native-born noble Irish [Scotta] woman of adult age whom I baptized; and a few days later she had reason to come to us to intimate that she had received a prophecy from a divine messenger [who] advised her that she should become a virgin of Christ and she would draw nearer to God. Thanks be to God, six days from then, opportunely and most eagerly,she took the course that all virgins of God take, not with their fathers' consent but enduring the persecutions and deceitful hindrances of their parents. Notwithstanding that, their number increases, (we do not know the number of them that are so reborn) besides the widows, and those who practise self-denial. Those who are kept in slavery suffer the most. They endure terrors and constant threats, but the Lord has given grace to many of his handmaidens, for even though they are forbidden to do so, still they resolutely follow his example.
So it is that even if I should wish to separate from them in order to go to Britain, and most willingly was I prepared to go to my homeland and kinsfolk-- and not only there, but as far as Gaul to visit the brethren there, so that I might see the faces of the holy ones of my Lord, God knows how strongly I desired this-- I am bound by the Spirit, who witnessed to me that if I did so he would mark me out as guilty, and I fear to waste the labour that I began, and not I,but Christ the Lord, who commanded me to come to be with them for the rest of my life, if the Lord shall will it and shield me from every evil, so that I may not sin before him.
So I hope that I did as I ought, but I do not trust myself as long as I am in this mortal body, for he is strong who strives daily to turn me away from the faith and true holiness to which I aspire until the end of my life for Christ my Lord, but the hostile flesh is always dragging one down to death, that is, to unlawful attractions. And I know in part why I did not lead a perfect life like other believers,but I confess to my Lord and do not blush in his sight, because I am not lying; from the time when I came to know him in my youth, the love of God and fear of him increased in me, and right up until now, by God's favour, I have kept the faith.
What is more, let anyone laugh and taunt if he so wishes. I am not keeping silent, nor am I hiding the signs and wonders that were shown to me by the Lord many years before they happened, [he] who knew everything, even before the beginning of time.
Thus, I should give thanks unceasingly to God, who frequently forgave my folly and my negligence, in more than one instance so as not to be violently angry with me, who am placed as his helper, and I did not easily assent to what had been revealed to me, as the Spirit was urging; and the Lord took pity on me thousands upon thousands of times, because he saw within me that I was prepared, but that I was ignorant of what to do in view of my situation; because many were trying to prevent this mission. They were talking among themselves behind my back, and saying: 'Why is this fellow throwing himself into danger among enemies who know not God?' Not from malice, but having no liking for it; likewise, as I myself can testify, they perceived my rusticity. And I was not quick to recognize the grace that was then in me; I now know that I should have done so earlier.
Now I have put it frankly to my brethren and co-workers, who have believed me because of what I have foretold and still foretell to strengthen and reinforce your faith. I wish only that you, too, would make greater and better efforts. This will be my pride, for 'a wise son makes a proud father'.
You know, as God does, how I went about among you from my youth in the faith of truth and in sincerity of heart. As well as to the heathen among whom I live, I have shown them trust and always show them trust. God knows I did not cheat any one of them, nor consider it, for the sake of God and his Church, lest I arouse them and [bring about] persecution for them and for all of us, and lest the Lord's name be blasphemed because of me, for it is written: 'Woe to the men through whom the name of the Lord is blasphemed.'
For even though I am ignorant in all things, nevertheless I attempted to safeguard some and myself also. And I gave back again to my Christian brethren and the virgins of Christ and the holy women the small unasked for gifts that they used to give me or some of their ornaments which they used to throw on the altar. And they would be offended with me because I did this. But in the hope of eternity, I safeguarded myself carefully in all things, so that they might not cheat me of my office of service on any pretext of dishonesty, and so that I should not in the smallest way provide any occasion for defamation or disparagement on the part of unbelievers.
What is more, when I baptized so many thousands of people, did I hope for even half a jot from any of them? [If so] Tell me, and I will give it back to you. And when the Lord ordained clergy everywhere by my humble means, and I freely conferred office on them, if I asked any of them anywhere even for the price of one shoe, say so to my face and I will give it back.
More, I spent for you so that they would receive me. And I went about among you, and everywhere for your sake, in danger, and as far as the outermost regions beyond which no one lived, and where no one had ever penetrated before, to baptize or to ordain clergy or to confirm people. Conscientiously and gladly I did all this work by God's gift for your salvation.
From time to time I gave rewards to the kings, as well as making payments to their sons who travel with me; notwithstanding which, they seized me with my companions, and that day most avidly desired to kill me. But my time had not yet come. They plundered everything they found on us anyway, and fettered me in irons; and on the fourteenth day the Lord freed me from their power, and whatever they had of ours was given back to us for the sake of God on account of the indispensable friends whom we had made before.
Also you know from experience how much I was paying to those who were administering justice in all the regions, which I visited often. I estimate truly that I distributed to them not less than the price of fifteen men, in order that you should enjoy my company and I enjoy yours, always, in God. I do not regret this nor do I regard it as enough. I am paying out still and I shall pay out more. The Lord has the power to grant me that I may soon spend my own self, for your souls.
Behold, I call on God as my witness upon my soul that I am not lying; nor would I write to y ou for it to be an occasion for flattery or selfishness, nor hoping for honour from any one of you. Sufficient is the honour which is not yet seen, but in which the heart has confidence. He who made the promise is faithful; he never lies.
But I see that even here and now, I have been exalted beyond measure by the Lord, and I was not worthy that he should grant me this, while I know most certainly that poverty and failure suit me better than wealth and delight (but Christ the Lord was poor for our sakes; I certainly am wretched and unfortunate; even if I wanted wealth I have no resources, nor is it my own estimation of myself, for daily I expect to be murdered or betrayed or reduced to slavery if the occasion arises. But I fear nothing, because of the promises of Heaven; for I have cast myself into the hands of Almighty God, who reigns everywhere. As the prophet says: 'Cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you.'
Behold now I commend my soul to God who is most faithful and for whom I perform my mission in obscurity, but he is no respecter of persons and he chose me for this service that I might be one of the least of his ministers.
For which reason I should make return for all that he returns me. But what should I say, or what should I promise to my Lord, for I,alone, can do nothing unless he himself vouchsafe it to me. But let him search my heart and [my] nature, for I crave enough for it, even too much, and I am ready for him to grant me that I drink of his chalice, as he has granted to others who love him.
Therefore may it never befall me to be separated by my God from his people whom he has won in this most remote land. I pray God that he gives me perseverance, and that he will deign that I should be a faithful witness for his sake right up to the time of my passing.
And if at any time I managed anything of good for the sake of my God whom I love, I beg of him that he grant it to me to shed my blood for his name with proselytes and captives, even should I be left unburied, or even were my wretched body to be torn limb from limb by dogs or savage beasts, or were it to be devoured by the birds of the air, I think, most surely, were this to have happened to me, I had saved both my soul and my body. For beyond any doubt on that day we shall rise again in the brightness of the sun, that is, in the glory of Christ Jesus our Redeemer, as children of the living God and co-heirs of Christ, made in his image; for we shall reign through him and for him and in him.
For the sun we see rises each day for us at [his] command, but it will never reign, neither will its splendour last, but all who worship it will come wretchedly to punishment. We, on the other hand, shall not die, who believe in and worship the true sun, Christ, who will never die, no more shall he die who has done Christ's will, but will abide for ever just as Christ abides for ever, who reigns with God the Father Almighty and with the Holy Spirit before the beginning of time and now and for ever and ever. Amen.
Behold over and over again I would briefly set out the words of my confession. I testify in truthfulness and gladness of heart before God and his holy angels that I never had any reason, except the Gospel and his promises, ever to have returned to that nation from which I had previously escaped with difficulty.
But I entreat those who believe in and fear God, whoever deigns to examine or receive this document composed by the obviously unlearned sinner Patrick in Ireland, that nobody shall ever ascribe to my ignorance any trivial thing that I achieved or may have expounded that was pleasing to God, but accept and truly believe that it would have been the gift of God. And this is my confession before I die.